As 2011 comes to a close, I am taken aback by how much things can change in 12 short months. Life has taken so many unforeseen twists and turns this year and I am, at times, unable to fathom just how much has happened since January. As I look back, I see myself and my family broken beyond recognition and emerging as stronger people. As better sons and daughters and brothers and sisters. As more compassionate, more understanding, more able to depend on one another for strength and more able to provide stability and comfort to one another regardless of the storms that rage around us.
As we said goodbye to 2010, I was so certain that 2011 was going to be amazing. I had graduated college, was embracing my 30s and was ready to face whatever the new year had for me. I had no idea just how hellacious a storm lie just out of sight. Losing my mother in February shook my foundation in a way that nothing ever had. There was no preparing for that event or the days and weeks that followed. Watching her get sick, suffering so much and passing from this life to the next changed everything. My life quickly changed from being about what I wanted...my goals and dreams and aspirations..to being overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for my father in every way possible. What I needed no longer mattered...I just needed to make sure he was okay. My daily thoughts were consumed by worry. I couldn't lose him to depression or guilt or despair. We leaned on each other so much in those days. We still do. He has been and always will be such a powerful example. in my life. He never ceases to amaze me.
Spring came and eventually gave way to summer. I was spending more and more time at dad's business and trying to relieve as much stress from him as possible. Through that journey, I befriended Jason. He has become a godsend and I am grateful for him every single day. As the summer days got hotter, our relationship grew. We became the best of friends. We bring out the best in one another and are able to face adversity together, rather than allowing it to drive us apart. I am confident that the love that has sprung up between us will continue to grow as the years pass and I am so excited to watch our story develop.
As we face this Christmas - it is bittersweet for me. The first Christmas without my mom. The first Christmas with my future husband. The first Christmas enjoying the company of his family. Embracing new traditions and holding on tightly to old ones. Realizing that sometimes a positive thought is all that gets us through the hard days and being grateful for a Heavenly Father who provides peace and comfort when no one else can. I am grateful for the challenges of life. They are the reason we grow. The storms allow us to recognize and appreciate peace. The pain harvests gratitude and the ability and desire to help others overcome.
I have a sincere desire for those around me to prosper. Not only throughout this holiday season but every day. Tell those you love that you love them today. Tomorrow may be too late. Live a life you can be proud of and share your gifts with the world. You never know whose life you may touch.
Happy holidays. Let's face 2012 with renewed optimism. It's gonna be a great year.
Much love,
B.
